


Angel, My Angel

by magikhands



Category: Supernatural
Genre: BDSM, Dominance, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Submission
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-25 17:05:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1655960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magikhands/pseuds/magikhands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Castiel capture Gadreel because Castiel believes that Sam is the only one to talk Gadreel into helping them in the fight against Metatron. (sorry I suck at summaries sometimes because I don’t want to give away any twists I might have pop up)<br/>This is a story written for my friend and dear co-mod who wanted a Cas/Sam/Gadreel triangle.<br/>Note: Takes place in Season 9 right after episode 21 when Dean kills Abbadon, with several changes of course to fit the M/M.  Dean is not quite as taken over by MoC as cannon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Supernatural. I’m only borrowing the characters/universe for my twisted fantasy world.

Chapter One

Ever have that feeling of being watched? Sam felt that way, a lot recently. But especially right now. He sat in a cheap motel, in a small town, in the middle of the mid-west and felt as if someone was looking over his shoulder. It was a bit unnerving.

He looked out the window the small table sat in front of. Because he had the bathroom light on he could only see his own reflection staring back at him. Reaching out, he pulled the cheap, rough curtains closed. He’d hear the Impala when Dean returned.

Sam turned back to his computer and continued his journal entry about their recent hunt that they’d just finished about seventy miles away. His father had used a book to document all his research and findings. He was more modern and had his journal stored in the Cloud. When he made his way back to the Men of Letters bunker, he’d print it out and put it in the binder that he was assembling. Times sure have changed since he was a young boy.

Finishing his entry, Sam leaned back in the chair and let out a breath. He was tired, but still felt wound up. He picked up the warming beer and sipped it. As the silence closed in on him and the sense of being watched still loomed, Sam now wished he’d accompanied Dean to the local pool hall. A little pool hustle and the distorted noise of music and people around him might have taken his mind off this restlessness he’d been feeling.

Instead, Sam stood, pulled back the curtain a little and stared out the window at nothing.

^^^^  
He shouldn’t be here. 

How many times had he told himself that in the past months? Each time he followed Sam Winchester, each time he watched he told himself he should walk away. But something always drew him back to the man he’d once possessed.

Unfamiliar emotions drove him to catch a glimpse. Knowledge from his current vessel and what he’d gained from Sam Winchester gave names to the sensations, but couldn’t explain why he was feeling them toward his previous vessel.

The more risk he took following, the more likely he would be caught.

He’d already been captured once. He’d been so sure he would die, that Dean Winchester would be the one to finally put him out of his misery, but fate had other plans. He was exchanged for Castiel. 

The Winchester’s angel. The leader of angels who are resistant to Metatron’s plan for Heaven.

Movement at the window caught his eyes. Sam Winchester stood at the window, looking right at him. Panic swept through him. Hidden the way he was there was no way he could be seen, but still, those hazel eyes seemed to know exactly where he stood.

His gaze took in the vessel he had occupied for a time. It was a strong vessel. As if it were made specifically for an angel, yet it had demon blood infused in his blood. Once he possessed Sam Winchester he learned that he and his brother had truly been made to be the vessels for the archangel Michael and Lucifer, the fallen one. Even as weak as he’d been, the vessel was able to heal him, in turn he had healed Sam Winchester from near death, more than once. It was also the same vessel he had used to fight off demons, kill, as well as betray a person who trusted in him. 

It was a vessel who had recently looked at him with such hatred that it had affected him worse than any torture he had ever endured in Heaven’s prison. 

But there was a time that the soul inside that vessel felt another emotion toward him.

More than anything else in Heaven, Hell, and Earth combined, that’s what Gadreel wanted back.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Sam’s phone rang just as there is a knock at the door. Caller ID said it was Dean, but he didn’t know who was at the door. He’d just stepped out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist, and water still dripping from his hair.

“Is that you knocking on the door?” he answered the phone as he grabbed the Taurus 9mm he always kept nearby.

“Uh, no.”

“Hang on, then.” Sam approached the door with caution, clicking the safety off, and looked through the peep hole. He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

He unlatched the deadbolt and opened the door. “Hey, Cas.” As he stepped aside to let Castiel enter the room he put the phone back to his hear. “Cas is here. Everything okay, Dean?”

“Yeah, just thought I’d let you know not to wait up.” The sound of balls clacking together and music almost drowned out Dean’s voice. 

“Blonde or brunette?” Sam’s gaze never wavered from the angel as he shut and rebolted the door.

“I don’t have choose, Sammy.” There was laughter in his voice. That was the Dean he knew and loved. The one he had missed for some time now. The Mark of Cain was changing him, and not really in a good way in Sam’s opinion. They’d killed Abbadon. Next they had to hunt Cain down and find a way to give it back. At least that’s what Sam hoped.

“Cas is here. I’ll let you know if it’s important. Just be careful, okay?”

“Don’t worry about me. Tell Cas I said hi.” He hung up.

Sam didn’t get the chance to lay the phone or gun down before Cas got close, hands on his face, and kissed him. Shocked by the abruptness, but not by the actually kiss, Sam wrapped his arms around Cas’s torso, careful of the direction of the gun muzzle, and returned the kiss just as passionate as he was getting. He moaned as Cas pressed his body closer, feeling the hardness rub on his quickly thickening erection. 

“Jesus, Cas,” Sam breathed out as he pulled away and felt lips trail along his neck. 

“It’s been too long,” Cas muttered before he nipped where Sam’s neck and shoulder met. 

Sam wanted to agree but he was busy reveling in the feel of those soft, sensuous lips on his skin. Fingers caressed and tugged at his nipples before sliding down to tug the towel away. Sam stood there, naked, holding a cell phone and gun. He was suddenly glad he’d shut the curtain. Imagine the sight if someone had walked by.

“Bed, now.” Cas’ hoarse voice broke through the pure ecstasy he felt.

Tossing the gun & phone on the second bed Sam eagerly lay down on the bed he’d planned to sleep in. He silently watched Cas remove his coat, tie, and unbutton the white shirt. Sam’s fingers twitched. He wanted so bad to get up and help Cas unclothe. To tear every bit of material from that gorgeous body. He wanted to run his hands where he wanted, which was everywhere, but he knew better. Though Sam’s attraction to the angel has been for many years, it wasn’t until recently, when Cas stayed at the bunker to heal him from the trials’ damage that their friendship had evolved into more. 

And Castiel, an angel of the Lord, had found his niche in sex. He was a dominant and liked it his way or there was punishment. Fun punishment most of the time, but it was still punishment. Yeah, Cas had watched too much porn thanks to Dean’s insistance, but Sam discovered he didn’t mind Cas’ preference. He found it refreshing and enjoyed having someone else take the wheel for a while. 

Sam enjoyed the show as Cas kicked off his shoes, unbuckled his belt, and unbuttoned his pants. It was a perfect picture and tried to take a mental picture of Cas the way he was, right then & there. White shirt opened, but still tucked in showing off just enough chest hair, pants only needed to be unzipped and pushed down. The sight made his cock throb and twitch with need.

Cas didn't miss the movement and smiled. “What do you want, Sam?”

Sam swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry. “You.” His voice sounded raspy and was that a hint of desperation? It had been too many weeks since he’d seen his angel or any sort of relief since Cas didn’t want him seeking satisfaction without his approval. It was rough, but he’d found that Cas made it worth his while to wait.

Slowly Cas shed his shirt and Sam couldn’t stop staring. The angel had chosen his vessel well. Attractive, not too old or too young, and those striking blue eyes. The intensity behind them got Sam every time. 

Sam growled as Cas made a show of unzipping his pants and pushing them off his hips. He wanted to grab hold of his cock, to stroke it, to feel the way it throbbed in his palm. His hand shifted to his stomach but went no further. He wanted pleasure, not punishment tonight. He would wait. Obviously Cas was going to make the delay excruciating, but Sam was willing to do as he wished.

“You’ve waited for me, haven’t you, Sam?” He fingered the waist band of his boxers, Superman boxers which Sam found amusing, but there was no hiding his arousal.

With eyes glued to the boxers, Sam’s fingers curled into fists. His father had raised him to be the predator, to kill monsters, and although he was the patient one between him and Dean, it wasn’t in his nature to be so passive. This being though had been worth the years of waiting and even if he didn’t live past the next eight hours, he would die a happy man because of what he shared with Cas.

“Sam?”

Damn, hadn’t he answered? He swallowed, still fixed on those Superman boxers. His brain worked like crazy to remember the question. Something about waiting? Oh, shit, yeah. He’d waited all right. 

Sam nodded, unable to speak, desire clogging his throat and seemingly taking all the blood from his thinking brain to his cock.

Those beautiful fingers didn’t reward Sam with its prize, instead moved away from the waistband to curl around the hips. Crap. He needed to focus. Dragging his gaze to Cas’ face, Sam swiped a hand over his face and muttered, “Sorry.”

Cas’ lips slightly curled into the smallest of smiles, while those knowing eyes stared with ancient vigor. “Now that I have your attention, have you waited for me?”

“Yes. Yes, I’ve waited for you.” Sam should feel shame for letting Cas have so much control over him, but he found it exhilarating and in a strange way freeing. It was freeing to let someone else take control of a portion of his life he was willing to give up.

The boxers disappeared and Cas was suddenly crawling on the bed to lie next to Sam. “I’ve missed you, Cas.”

“I’ve missed you as well, Sam.” Cas gently brushed the hair from Sam’s forehead and kissed his brow. 

“Please,” Sam begged.

Cas knew exactly what he wanted. He reached down and took Sam in his hand. Sam’s body immediately reacted to the tenderness. His back arched and his breath came out in pants as he tried hard not to blow it right then and there. 

“Touch me, Sam.”

God, he loved it when Cas said his name. It never failed to send shivers of desire down his spine as that rough, deep voice spoke that one syllable. With a shaky hand, Sam reached between them and took Cas in his hand. He moaned as it twitched in his palm. Knowing just how Cas liked it, Sam kept a firm grip and stroked him.

“Yes,” Cas breathed out right before he kissed Sam again.

He easily lost himself as Cas dominated the kiss and started stroking with a matching rhythm. Pressure quickly built and Sam was near exploding and having a hard time holding back. 

“Please, Cas. I can’t…oh, God, please,” Sam begged, stilling his hips and pulled away from the kiss. He wanted to cum so badly, but he couldn’t, not just yet. Concentrating on Cas wasn’t distracting him enough either. It had been too long. 

Cas kissed Sam’s temple with such gentle tenderness his insides quivered, but Sam also noticed that Cas was trembling as well. He liked seeing evidence that the intense passion between them went both ways. 

“Cum for me, Sam,” Cas whispered.

That was all he needed. Sam stroked Cas once, twice before he felt the hot wetness of Cas’ release on his stomach and hand. Immediately he felt a dizzying relief flood his body as his own ejaculation released. His eyes closed and he allowed the rapturous feeling consume him.

Fingertips brushing the hair from his forehead brought Sam back to the here and now. He opened his eyes and was met with the intensity of most beautiful shade of blue. He reached up and ran a finger across Cas’ scruffy jaw. 

“Hey.” A smile lifted his lips.

Cas’ head tilted slightly, but that slight smile was back on those beautiful lips. “Hello.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I have 3 teenagers in my house graduating high school this week and it's been quite hectic in my home. Thanks for being patient. I have a basic outline, but the story is definitely developing all on its own as the characters speak to me.  
> Thank you for the comments and kudos. It's very appreciated and encouraging. Any typos or grammar errors are all my own. 
> 
> **Please remember that Dean is not be as affected by The Mark as cannon in this story and isn't as set to killing Metatron with the Blade as cannon. **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Sam didn’t want to move. If he never moved again, it would be perfectly fine with him. He liked these quiet moments. His head on Cas’ chest, listening to a steady heartbeat. His hand resting on his abdomen, fingers toying with the hair. The few moments of serenity in his life.

“I asked Gadreel to be a double agent.”

“What?” Serenity shattered just like that.

“I asked…”

Sam raised his head and looked at his lover. “I heard you. But why? Even if he says yes we can’t trust him.”

“Metatron has to be stopped and Gadreel is the one closest to him. I need to know what he is planning, how many angels he’s got believing his lies, and we need to find that portal to Heaven.

“He possessed me and killed Kevin.” That in itself should be reason enough not to listen to one word that angel said. 

“I know.”

Sam pushed up, raked his hands through his hair, and let out a puff of breath. “This is crazy. Does Dean know about this?”

“No.”

Damn Cas and his simple answers. “Why would you ask him to do that? If he tells Metatron…”

“I believe he seeks redemption. He thought that he was doing right by siding with Metatron.”

“He’ll find no redemption with him…or with us.” Sam closed his eyes and tried not to see his own hand reaching toward Kevin. A hand rested on his shoulder and it wiped the memory away, for now.

“We can’t find the ever moving portal. I can’t figure out who the spy in my ranks is. Angels are dying each day this draws out. Only knowing what Gadreel knows will help us win this war..”

Sam blew out a breath. He missed the days when they just hunted windegos and other beyond a doubt evil creatures. Demon and angel politics had truly screwed up their life. Now he just wanted 24 hours free of the crap. He could barely get an hour anymore.

“Even if he gives us information, how can you trust it?”

Cas’ fingers played with the end of his hair. Sam loved it when his lover played with his hair. It was comforting. “He saved you.”

“He saved his own ass. You are the one who healed me.”

Cas gripped a section of hair and pulled his head back as he moved onto his knees beside Sam. “No, he healed you in a way I couldn’t.”

“I was ready to die. He tricked Dean and then me into saying yes.”

“What Gadreel did was wrong, I agree, but he did what he promised Dean. He brought you back from the brink of death, healing the damage the trials left inside. Possessing you was the only way to do so, and I was human, unable to do so. He kept you alive for Dean…for me.” His grip eased then released as he spoke the last sentence. 

“Damn it, Cas. Why are you trying so hard to make me see the good in him?” Sam pushed off the bed to stand, the sheet falling from where it had bunched around his waist. He looked around the room, trying to remember where he’d put his jeans. Dean might be out all night, but then he might not. He was in no mood for Dean to find out about them like this.

“Because I believe you are the only one who can talk him into helping us.”

This stopped Sam cold. “What?” He slowly turned and met Cas’ gaze. 

“He’s been following you. I’ve tracked him to at least twelve towns that you and Dean have stopped in.” Cas moved to the foot of the bed and started gathering his own clothing.

Sam shook his head. “The last place he should be is near either one of us.” He clenched his jaw pushing away the anger whenever he thought about Gadreel. “Wait, how have you tracked him?”

“My angels aren’t completely useless, Sam.” His tone was clipped.

“Okay, but how is he tracking us then?” He continued his search and found his jeans on the floor near the bathroom door.

“You. He can track you because of the grace.”

“You retrieved all of his grace from me.” Sam didn’t like to think about Gadreel being able to find him so easily. Yes, he had to have permission to possess him again, but what was the use of the sigils on his ribs if others followed Gadreel?

“I retrieved all I could without killing you, Sam. I told you, it wasn’t worth losing you.” Cas already had his pants on and was now working on buttoning his shirt. “Besides, an angel can always find a vessel it has used, with or without the grace.”

Sam wasn’t happy with that news. The last thing he needed was Gadreel stalking him. “Thanks for the heads up on that. But I still don’t understand why he’s watching me.”

Cas reached out and let his fingertips glide down Sam’s arm. “I like watching you.” 

Sam stopped himself from leaning into the touch. Dean could be back at any time. Tonight wasn’t the night to tell him about his relationship with Castiel.

A sigh of submission released from Sam’s chest. He wasn’t happy with this new information, but he was willing to listen. “So what do you have planned?”

^^^^

Gadreel stopped at the mouth of the alley. It was shrouded in shadows with only a very dim light near a dumpster. Just a bit further the alley ended at the brick wall of an office building. He took a moment to scan the area. No other angels. No demons. All was quiet, a little too much, but his gut was telling him the opposite. He’d had to lose the tail Metatron had put on him. It took a little longer than he thought, but he needed to meet with Castiel tonight. He wanted to trust Castiel and knew the other angel was expecting an answer from him. 

So here he was.

Even after the onslaught of undesired feelings that had emerged when he saw Castiel enter Sam’s motel room. He’d tried walking away then, knowing that Castiel was the Winchester’s angel, but something pulled him forward instead.

The curtains had been drawn, his sight blocked from what was happening, but his hearing and sense of smell gave him a perfect picture of Castiel’s relationship with Sam. The tightening in his vessel’s chest and other emotions he wasn’t ready to name or accept was what finally had Gadreel walking away from the motel. 

He would have gone back to Metatron, but the meeting with Castiel had already been set. Even now, Gadreel was unsure if he would say yes or no to Castiel.

Metatron wasn’t God. This, Gadreel was sure of. He was a petty, jealous, bitter angel who had hid from his brothers and sisters. And now he was taking his revenge, but in the cruelest of ways, seeking domination of those who had thought lesser of him. Metatron didn’t care who he hurt as long as he got his way.

If anyone understood revenge, it was Gadreel. However, after inhabiting Sam’s vessel and seeing the truth about Metatron, he realized that sometimes it may not be worth the price one would have to pay. 

Did that mean he’d say yes to Castiel? That was the real question Gadreel had yet to answer himself.

Walking forward, through the alley, Gadreel stopped when he heard a click. A shadow moved into the small light. His vessel’s heart skipped a beat when he recognized Sam standing before him, gun cocked and aimed at him. Keeping his expression emotionless, Gadreel raised a brow.

“I have no business with you, Sam Winchester.” His voice was steady though he felt his stomach flutter and a shiver rushed down his spine. The emotions this human caused made him feel weak. Gadreel hated, yet loved it at the same time.

“You and I have a lot of unfinished business, Gadreel.”

Gadreel’s gut twisted as the anger Sam held toward him was evident by the way he stood, the steel expression, and the way his words came through clenched teeth. He’d seen this side of Sam many times. This was the side of Sam that barely held back a mass of anger boiling deep inside of him. Nothing and no one would deter him from his mission and he’d do whatever it took to achieve it.

Gadreel found it a turn on.

His gaze shifted as he looked for the other Winchester. “Is this where your brother captures me with a ring of fire again?”

“No brother, and no holy oil.” Sam’s left hand lowered from his gun and pulled a set of handcuffs from his pocket. The same set of handcuffs he’d worn the last time the Winchesters had captured him. They were engraved with sigils that would keep him in his vessel and nearly powerless. “Tonight you’ll be coming with me willingly.”

Gadreel wanted to laugh, but his senses spiked. Another presence was behind him. Slowly, Gadreel turned. “Castiel. I thought we were to meet alone.”

Castiel’s held tilted slightly to the right. “I could say the same.” An angel blade was held by Castiel’s right hand at his side, its tip coated with blood and dripping.

So his tail had finally caught up. The angel wouldn’t be reporting back to Metatron thanks to Castiel. 

“And our deal?” Gadreel asked, keeping Sam in his peripheral vision.

“I’ve decided to change the terms.” Castiel’s gaze never broke from Gadreel’s.

“I see.”

“So what will it be, Gadreel?” Sam took a step closer. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way?”

A response stuck in his throat as that voice and those words brought forth a collection of images from the past. Memories that he had tried to bury and forget, but never quite succeeded, especially when he was in a certain human’s presence. 

Gadreel weighed his choices. He could fight and risk harming two people he didn’t wish to or he could go willingly and risk losing more than his life.

Slowly he lifted his wrists toward Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally I get my writing time back. So sorry for the delay as "Life" took over. However, I'm back at the computer trying to get this story written. Please forgive any typos/grammar errors, they are all mine.  
> This was a bit of a harder chapter to write as I tried to decide how to bring Sam and Gadreel back together again. I'm hoping it all works out in the end.  
> As always, kudos & comments are welcomed and are very encouraging. I know this is a bit of an odd coupling, but I can't seem to get this off my mind.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short but I'm getting back in the groove again. The past 1- 1/2 months have been really really busy. Sorry, I hate leaving people hanging. :( *bad writer* As always, comments & kudos welcomed and thanks for reading.

Chapter Four

“What the hell am I supposed to do now?” Sam raked his fingers through his hair, sweeping it from his eyes.

“You convince him to help us bring down Metratron.” Cas said it like it was as simple as walking and talking at the same time.

“Cas, all I want to do is beat the shit out of him. To make him pay for what he did to Kevin.”

“I know.” Cas reached out and laid a palm against Sam’s cheek. 

He closed his eyes and sank into the touch. Sam desperately wished they had the ignorance other people had. To be able to live a life of love and peace. Not knowing that monsters and evil ran amok in the world. But it was far too late for that. He’d tried it a couple of times and it always ended in heartbreak.

Sam opened his eyes and pulled away. “Dean almost beat him to death already. We got nowhere.”

“Gadreel was tortured for thousands of years, Sam. Violence does nothing for one immune to it.”

Sam’s brows drew together. “What are you saying, Cas?”

“Dean will never accomplish what you can, Sam. Gadreel possessed you. He knows you, maybe even better than you know yourself. He knows your strengths and your weaknesses. But you know his as well.”

Sam shook his head. “I don’t remember much.” He looked away, hating to even think about the time Gadreel possessed him. Seeing his own hands killing Kevin and not being able to stop. “I was me, but…”

“Not when Gadreel took over.” There was understanding in Cas’ eyes. 

He let out a breath and gave a short nod. 

“You will need to get Gadreel to make you remember. All of it.”

“What if I don’t want to?” His dreams were already filled with the things he did remember, how could he handle more?

“You have to if we are to get Gadreel to tell us anything.” Cas stepped closer, placed both hands on Sam’s face, and kissed him. It was a gentle brush of lips at first then Sam gasped as his body was flooded with want for his angel and allowed the kiss to deepen. 

Sam groaned, his own hands mimicking Cas’, feeling the roughness of a three day scruff under his fingertips. 

Cas was the first to pull away. “You are the strongest person I know. You can do this.”

“How?” The word came out as a desperate plea. 

“Violence won’t work. You have to seduce him, Sam.”

The air left Sam’s lungs. Seduce the angel who possessed him? The same being that killed Kevin? Who had teamed up with Metatron who is trying to become the new God?

“I can’t.”

Cas tucked back a strand of hair that had fallen over his forehead. His touch gentle and soothing. “You can. Once you remember everything about him, you’ll have all you need to win him over.”

^^^^

Castiel left the bunker keeping to the faith that Sam would be able to get Gadreel on their side. 

No matter what needed to be done.

He took a deep breath of the crisp night until his lungs burned. He didn’t really need to breath, but the body he possessed did. Since being human he had a new appreciation to those he was created to protect. As well as the confusing emotions that assaulted them. Emotions that were either muted or nonexistent in their true heavenly forms.

Castiel braced himself against his car as a new wave of emotions swarmed him. He’d told Sam to seduce Gadreel. To do whatever he needed to win this war against Metatron. Would that include losing his lover to another angel? 

Castiel wasn’t that naïve. Gadreel looked at Sam with the same response he’d fought against for years. Both Winchesters had a strong draw to them. From the first time Castiel touched Dean, he was lost to it. Then as he and Sam drew closer, made some of the same mistakes, a bond was formed between as well. Only Sam had allowed that bond to go further, in a more physical connection.

This relationship was still new to them both. There was no great verbal expression of love or promises of forever. With the life they led they were both aware of the dangers and that promises sometimes couldn’t be kept, no matter how hard one tried. He also knew that he couldn’t let jealousy and selfishness cloud his judgment and let Metatron win.

Cas pushed off the car and got in. As he started the engine, enjoying the deep growl he put his gut wrenching doubts and insecurities away and concentrated on how he would keep Dean busy.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Sam took a deep breath and let it out. He’d stalled long enough. Cas was gone and it was just he and Gadreel in the bunker with no one to disturb them. He put one hand on the door and paused. Cas believed he could do this. Why, he wasn’t sure, but he was right about one thing. Dean had beaten Gadreel’s vessel, well past what a mere human could take, and still Gadreel hadn’t given in. Instead, they traded him back to Metatron for Cas. 

As much as he didn’t want to he had to go in and play good cop. Or rather, seduction cop. A shiver ran through him at the thought, however, it wasn’t exactly a bad sort, and that’s what worried him. As much as he sometimes wanted to know what happened when Gadreel took over his body, he was also scared. But now wasn’t the time for those tug of war thoughts. 

Sam pushed and the dungeon doors opened. Since there was a devils trap in the center of the room, Cas had placed another sigil on the floor not far from it. One that contained angels without using the holy fire. Gadreel stood in the middle of the angel sigil, his arms stretched above his head, wrists locked in sigil etched cuffs. Everything was designed to keep an angel’s powers suppressed and to keep an angel in the body of its host.

He silently cursed Cas who had set the scene before him. Gadreel had been stripped of his jacket and shirt, as well as his shoes and socks, so he stood before Sam with no clothing other than a pair of jean that rode low on his hips. Taunt arm muscles flexed with the slightest movement. Defined abs and chest accentuated narrow hips. The sight of bared flesh brought forth surprising emotions.

“The human boy with demon blood.”

“And angel grace apparently.” Sam stepped further into the room. “Isn’t that how you tracked me?” He was glad his voice was steady.

Gadreel responded with silence.

They stared at each other for several minutes, the stillness weighing heavy in the room. Sam’s fingers curled into fists, wanting so bad to cause physical harm to the angel trussed up before him. It would be so easy. The rage that tried to rise within was fiercely demanding vengeance, but slowly Sam pushed it back. As much as he wanted to kill this angel, Cas was correct about him being the only one that could help them defeat Metatron.

And he only had a limited time to get Gadreel to talk about Metatron’s plans before he was discovered missing.

“Where is your dim-witted, desperate brother? Perhaps this time he will succeed in killing me.”

Sam released a choked chuckle. “He was desperate, no doubt about it. Desperate enough to allow you to trick him and me. But he’s not here. It’s just the two of us.”

Again, silence surrounded them. 

“What do you want from me, Sam Winchester?” He finally broke the stillness.

That you’d never come into our lives. “I want to remember.” 

Gadreel tilted his head slightly. “Remember?”

Sam forced his fingers to uncurl and for his shoulders to relax. Something inside told him that Gadreel wouldn’t harm Sam and he had to trust his gut. He crossed over the sigil lines and stood within arm’s length of Gadreel.

“I want to remember everything during the time you possessed me.”

“No.” The answer was clipped and his eyes shifted lower for a second before returning to Sam’s.

Sam’s teeth clenched, but he wouldn’t be deterred. “I remember bits and pieces in my dreams. Those times you took over. But I want to remember it all and you have the power unlock those memories.”

“No.” Gadreel answered this time with the word drawn out. His gaze was intense and Sam took note of how rigid his body became. As if expecting a blow at any moment for his defiance.

“Is it because I reek of shame and weakness?” 

Gadreel’s jaw clenched and his gaze wavered again, this time to the left and not returning to Sam.

“You don’t know me.” Sam took a step and started slowly walking around Gadreel. Slow, his eyes taking in the sinewy lines of muscles. The slightly freckled smooth skin covering all that power. It wasn’t until he stood facing Gadreel again that he spoke. “You don’t know me.”

“I know everything about you, Sam Winchester.” A small smile lifted Gadreel’s lips.

Sam wanted to punch that smile away. It felt as if Gadreel was asking for Sam to strike out. However, Cas was right. This being had suffered thousands of years of torture in Heaven’s prison. He himself had experienced a taste of Lucifer and Michael’s sick vengeance, Sam could only imagine having it dealt upon him for such a long period of time.

Sam once more walked around his prisoner, this time stopping at his back. You have to seduce him, Sam. Cas’ words echoed loud in his head. Too many years of pain, what would gentleness do? With an unsteady hand, Sam reached out and touched Gadreel’s right shoulder blade. 

“You don’t know everything, Gadreel.”

The angel gasped and his body trembled. 

Heat soared through Sam’s hand and his own body ignited with desire. The rush was almost overwhelming, so much that he had to close his eyes, and remind his lungs to continue working. Images flashed across his mind’s eye so quickly that he couldn’t comprehend them.

“Sam.”

The sound of his name, spoken in the faintest whisper, made his eyes open and the images cease. Sam felt unsteady, physically and emotionally. He had to suppress the urge to run from the room and never come back. He had a mission. He had to help Cas, which then he could help Dean. He also realized that if he continued on this path, his life would be forever changed.

How much worse could it get? He was a hunter, had been infused with demon blood at six months old to be the leader to a demon army. He’d been possessed by demons and angels. His girlfriend had been killed by a demon the same way his mother had been killed. His father was dead. Bobby was dead. His brother had gone to Hell for him, as well as made a trip to Purgatory. He’d gone to Hell to save the world. He’d lived without a soul and the list kept on going. Nearly everyone he cared about was gone. Dead. How much could one family sacrifice?

Sam found his hand slowly caressing Gadreel’s back, sliding over smooth skin and hard edges of muscle. He continued his walk keeping his contact until he faced Gadreel and let his palm rest over the rapidly beating heart. 

Gadreel’s expression was pained, like he’d taken a knife to the gut. Kill them with kindness motto came to mind. Cas was right. Force and violence wasn’t the solution. Gentle seduction was.

“Let me remember.” Sam leaned in and lightly brushed his lips over Gadreel’s. He gasped and his lips parted, giving Sam access. He swept his tongue over Gadreel’s lower lip and drew a moan. Encouraged, Sam kissed him again, this time letting his tongue enter the open and welcoming mouth. 

He was prepared to be repulsed by his actions and was surprised when a rush of want and desire flowed into him. The lips and kiss felt familiar. This need strangely natural. In fact, his body automatically slid closer, pressing against Gadreel’s and making itself at home.

Then the images started again. Slower this time, but all he could discern were flesh against flesh, sounds of moans and pleasure filled cries, and Sam calling Gadreel’s name.

Gadreel broke from the kiss and turned his head, which instantly ceased the images again. Sam took a shaky step back and found his breath heaving as much as Gadreel’s. His lips were probably just as swollen and face flushed as the angel’s. 

What the hell was that? He wanted to ask, but his voice was stuck in his throat. He just knew he had to get out of there. Get some space. Get some air.

Without a word, Sam turned and left, closing both sets of doors to the dungeon before sliding down against the wall, head in his hands, and letting the tears fall.

^^^^

Gadreel watched Sam leave. It took every ounce of will power not to call him back. When the door completely shut and he heard an outer click, he let the sob go and felt a tear slid down his cheek, his body sagging.

The strength of such human emotion surprised Gadreel. Yes, since falling from Heaven he’d felt emotions stronger than he had in Heaven, but the force Sam had on him was like nothing he’d ever felt. Then to physically feel those hands on him, those lips kiss him, and that warm body pressed against his was too much. The shields he’d erected, barriers to block out memories nearly shattered. Another few seconds would have had him doing whatever Sam wanted as long as he didn’t stop.

Gadreel had hoped that this time around the Winchesters would kill him. Or even Castiel. The things he’d done, all with good intentions, wore heavy on him. When he fell from Heaven he saw that as a second chance. Except he was too weak and damaged from the years of torture and the fall that his vessel, though acceptable, wasn’t strong enough to heal him. 

Then he heard Dean Winchester’s prayer. His chance at redemption. The moment he touched Sam and looked inside, he knew that the vessel would be able to heal him fully. Sam was a vessel that was created to hold a powerful angel host. Dean as well, he would later learn.

Gadreel was right in his decision to possess Sam. He was healing, slowly since Sam had a habit of jumping into some very dangerous situations and he’d had to spend extra energy healing Sam. It was amazing the human had lived as long as he had. But it was working and soon he would be able to leave Sam and go back to his original vessel.

Then Metatron entered. Once again he trusted the wrong person. Would he never learn?

The more time Gadreel spent driving Sam’s body, the more he had to tuck Sam safely away. He created a fantasy world that made Sam happy…as well as Gadreel, as he wove himself into the world and into Sam’s arms. The further he emerged himself into Metatron’s ideals, the longer he had to keep Sam away, and the closer the two got in a world that didn’t exist.

Now Sam wanted to remember it all. 

Gadreel wanted him to. He wanted to know if the mutual feelings they’d confessed to each other in that make believe world were real or if it was just a fantasy like everything else was.

The problem was Gadreel wasn’t sure he could survive losing Sam a second time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, Kudos and comments are welcomed and all grammar errors are fully mine. Thank you for taking the time to read this.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

  
Sam screamed as another slice ripped open his flesh. The wound burned and the scent of blood, his blood, overwhelmed his senses.

“Please, no.” His gaze frantically went from face to face, pleading for them to stop. He lay on a cold stone, held down by invisible powers, unable to move, to fight, or defend himself. Forced to take the torture.

“This is all your fault, Sammy.” Dean looked down at him, demon knife in hand.

“Dean, no, not you.”

Lucifer laughed as he poked a stab wound he’d made with an ice pick, making Sam whimper with pain. “If only you hadn’t stopped the apocalypse. You’d be living like a king.”

“Or at the very least not trapped in this cage with us.” Adam, their brother Michael had possessed sneered.

“This isn’t real.” Sam looked at Dean, knowing he was never in the cage with him. This had to be a dream.

“Oh, it’s real, Sammy.” Dean’s eyes turned demon black and when he opened his mouth the vampire teeth slid from his gums.

Sam fought against the power holding him down as panic took control, his heart racing out of control.

“Someone looks hungry.” Azazel approached them, his yellow eyes glowing bright. He took the knife from Dean and sliced his palm and slowly moved it over Sam’s head.

“No, no, no.” Sam struggled harder, even as Dean’s hands held to each side of his head to still it.

“A monster has to feed, little brother.”

His eyes closed. “Cas, please help me.” The plea came out as a whisper, but it was enough because the harsh grip on his head disappeared.

Cautiously opening his eyes, Sam looked into Castiel’s beautiful blue eyes. Relief flooded his system and all the pain he felt before dissipated.  
Movement at his feet snagged his attention and drew a growl from his throat. “I told you to stay the hell out of my head.”

Cas’s touch was gentle on his cheek. “You pulled him in, Sam.”

Sam sat up, gaze searching the darkness that surrounded them. “No, I called for you.” He took Cas’ hand in his, relishing in the warmth and safety.  
Gadreel stood silent, watchful.

Cas sighed, his other hand gently brushing through Sam’s hair. He leaned into the soothing feel of his lover. He watched as Gadreel slowly disappear.  
Sam let out a long sigh. “Cas, I can’t do this. It’s too much. One minute I want to stab him through the heart, the next minute I want to…” His voice trailed off.

“Be intimate with him.”

The oxygen rushed from Sam’s lungs as the truth was spoken out loud. He managed a nod as he willed his lungs to fill again.

“I don’t want to, Cas, but I can’t help how I feel when he’s near. It’s like I already know him. Like we already have a connection.”

“You do.”

Sam shook his head. “No. He possessed me. He tricked me. There’s nothing between…”

“Yes there is.” Cas’ hands gently framed Sam’s face, their eyes locked together. “He created a world for you when he took control. A safe place, where you were happy, yet couldn’t tell it wasn’t real. I would not be surprised if he placed himself somewhere in there if he feels the way I believe he feels toward you.”

“You created this…world for Jimmy?”

Cas’ thumbs gently rubbed across his cheek. It was a comforting motion. “Yes.” There was a slight nod and didn’t expound further.

Sam sighed and relaxed under his lover’s touch. “I don’t want to hurt you, Cas. It’s not right. To feel this attraction toward him when I feel more for you.”

Cas slowly removed his hands from Sam, pain etched his features as if it hurt him to not touch him. “It’s a strange predicament, but there’s a bigger picture we need to look at. Metatron won’t stop his self-proclaimed mission to take over Earth, Gadreel is ready to switch to our side – with the right push and incentive. It’s the edge we need to win this war. To save those we were created to protect. Sam, our selfish desires will only hurt us in the long run.”

Sam knew Cas spoke the truth. They had gone through so much. Metatron was willing to kill humans and angels to become the new god of the Earth. Gadreel had been willing to follow Metatron hoping for a better future, to erase his past. But that future only promised death at the whim of a selfish, egotistical, bitter angel wanting revenge.

“Stay with me. Help me.” Sam reached out and took Cas’ hand, squeezing it none too gently, not wanting his lover to leave just yet.

Cas laid his other hand over their joined ones. “You will always be mine, Sam. No matter what. Do you understand?”

Sam nodded. He’d felt it the first time he and Cas were together. Like he’d been marked as the angel’s own, as if a permanent link was placed between them.

“Now call him.”

Sam wasn’t sure how, but just the thought of angel brought him back. Gadreel stood at the end of the bed. The scenery was his bunker room.

Safe.

Sam took in the sight of Gadreel. At least the vessel that had willingly allowed the possession. He didn’t know the man’s name, but like Cas’ vessel, it was the angel not the human Sam saw.

Gadreel stood tall, yet just a couple of inches shorter if they stood side by side. Gadreel had no shirt, exactly like he was outside of this dream. Sam’s gaze slid along those defined muscles covered in soft, slightly freckled skin. Short, dark hair stood spiked on his head. Green eyes intensely stared back, probably waiting to be banished once more. So many similarities to Dean, yet so different.

His jaw and chin sharper cut. Those lips a little less full. Shoulders broader, thicker build. Though he looked older than Dean, he didn’t have the lines at the corner of his eyes.  
Sam shook his head to clear his mind. Why was he physically comparing this vessel to his brother? If anyone, it should be Cas. However, a quick glance Sam realized they were nothing alike, with the exception of their hair color. Yet, he was sexually attracted to both.

What the hell was wrong with him? If it weren’t demons, it’s angels. How much more screwed up could his life get? No, he didn’t want the answer to that. He’d learned that it could always get worse.

Sam pushed up into a sitting positon and raised his hand toward Gadreel in invitation. The tremble was barely noticeable. He hoped.

“Sit, Gadreel.” The words came out a bit harsher than he intended.

Gadreel turned his gaze to Cas who nodded.

Slowly the angel approached and sat on the edge of the bed. His body tense, as if ready to flee. This angel was use to harsh violence and commands. How would he react to gentle touches and kindness? Suddenly Sam wanted to know. He felt an urge to see pleasure cross that shield of blank expression. He wanted to hear those short, surprised gasps as lust flared between them. He wanted to feel their heated, sweat soaked skin slide together.

Sam blinked and turned to Cas. “Are you doing that?”

Cas innocently lifted a shoulder. “Doing what?”

Gadreel sat so still that Sam could easily forget that he was there as his gaze took in his lover’s blue eyes. Cas’ smile relaxed Sam, sending warmth flowing throughout his body.

“Touch him, Sam.”

“What?” Sam’s brows dipped in confusion. Touch who?

Cas took Sam’s hand in his and lifted it toward Gadreel. It was strange. His lover wanting him to touch another. To…

A gasp escaped the moment his fingers touched Gadreel’s face. Scenes of he and Gadreel spun in his head. He blinked and it was gone. The sensation was a bit disorienting, but it also made him realize that there was more to him & Gadreel’s relationship.

“Kiss Sam, Gadreel.”

Cas, as usual, took charge when Sam did nothing but stare at their captured angel. Sam’s breath caught as he waited, wondered if Gadreel would follow Cas’ command.

He didn’t have to wait long as Gadreel’s face moved closer. Sam tried to keep his eyes open, to watch the angel’s descent, but the moment their noses were a breath apart his lids closed and sensations flared to life when their lips met. Heat and lust mixed through his veins as visions of the two of them together - touching, laughing, loving – flashed like a movie on fast forward.

Sam wanted that world. The happiness. The lack of death. The perfect world he’d always wished he’d lived.

Gasping, Sam pulled back, the visions retreating, but not the desire that burned.

“Show him what it’s like to be cherished. To be held tenderly. To be loved,” Cas spoke softly in his ear.

“Cas, I want to, but…” His voice cracked. God, he wanted to.

“Give him all he’s been denied. Show him the best of humanity. Like you and Dean have done for me.” The words surrounded him in a whisper as Cas faded from the dream.

Leaving him alone with Gadreel yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while but this fic is not forgotten. I've been having to do classes online as well as getting my original writing works back going. A short chapter, but progress is once more being made. All grammar errors are my own. Kudos & comments always welcomed.


	8. Chapter 8

Sam’s eyes fluttered open, leaving the dream. He sat up, hoping Castiel was there, but his room was empty. Only the sensation of Gadreel’s kiss and Cas’ words lingered. He raked his fingers through his hair and puffed out a breath. He still felt conflicted. He wanted to run away from Gadreel and toward him at the same time.  
If they wanted just a small chance at defeating Metatron, he knew what he had to do. 

Sam pushed up from the bed. He had things to do first.

^^^^

Gadreel was certain Sam would burst through those doors any moment either to kill him or finish what he’d started in his dream. So he waited, and decided to willingly take whatever fate was delivered upon him.

And he waited. And waited.

And waited some more.

With a sigh, Gadreel laid his head on his knees, resigning himself to the fact that even Castiel couldn’t convince Sam to follow through with his instincts. Despair, sharper than he’d ever felt in Heaven’s prison twined its way through him. He knew with his mind that Sam was with Castiel. That they obviously shared a close bond, perhaps love since the other angel had abandoned Heaven for the Winchester brothers. But Gadreel’s heart was a different matter. He’d fallen in love with Sam in the world he’d built. He’d witnessed Sam’s compassion, need for justice, and inner as well as his outward beauty. Gadreel was positive that Sam was the same way outside of the fantasy world.

However, he also understood there were things that just couldn’t be forgiven. Why else had he spent all those years in a harsh prison? Only released because of a spell that pushed every angel out of Heaven.

Gadreel’s second chance was as much of a screw up as his first attempt at life. He didn’t deserve the kindness or even the love he longed for. This would be the end for him and he would gladly accept it.

By the time his prison door slid open again Gadreel had convinced himself that he would beg for the death he deserved. Sam scowled as he entered the room. Ready for his judgement Gadreel waited in silence. 

Sam held a knife in his hand. That wouldn’t kill him. With the shackles and trap it would mean a slow death for his vessel, but not the angel. Why use a knife when there was an angel blade? Torture for an innocent wasn’t really Sam’s thing.

Right?

Gadreel watched Sam kneel but rather than causing injury with the knife, he scrapped at the paint on the floor. Each swipe made the trap weaker and weaker until it was gone. Broken.

Was this the end?

He closed his eyes and waited. 

“Stand up, Gadreel.”

It took a moment for the order to register. Slowly he stood. Still waiting. Sam’s scowl not changing. There was no angel blade in his hand. How would he dispense the deserved punishment?

He was somewhat surprised when Sam grabbed hold of the chain of his shackles and dragged him out of the room.

“Sam?”

“Not a word,” he barked, then muttered something he couldn’t quite catch. But it sounded like “Is there no damn end to what I have to do to save the fucking world?” 

This confused Gadreel, but he remained silent, perplexed and yet, enthralled once again by this man who’d captured his interest so easily.  
Sam led him past many closed doors before turning right then left and into an opened door. It was a bedroom. Mostly empty except for a queen sized bed and a dresser against the wall to the right. Rather than a head board for the bed there was a thick black chain attached to the wall, the length laying on the mattress, the end a three inch black metal band. 

They stood next to the bed and Gadreel wasn’t surprised when Sam picked up the band and snapped it around his neck. What did surprise him was when Sam dug a key from his jean pocket and removed the spelled shackles and placing them on the dresser. Since Gadreel’s powers were still suppressed he assumed the collar was etched with the same symbols as the cuffs, leaving him as human as his vessel. 

Was this where Sam wanted to kill him? Where his corporal self would be exercised from his vessel? Never believing he had much of an imagination, Gadreel conjured a variety of death scenarios. 

The silence pressed hard on Gadreel as he watched Sam rake his fingers through his hair. Were they trembling? Did Sam actually look nervous? Second thoughts? So many questions popped into his mind. The uncertainty was truly ripping apart his emotions though he forced his expression to give none of it way. A lesson learned long ago in Heaven’s prison. 

Sam closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Gadreel enjoyed the flex of muscles in his chest, glad he hadn’t put a shirt on. His gaze drifted to the plaid sleep pants and was pleased to see some movement. Their closeness or perhaps the remnants of his dream was affecting Sam and Gadreel found a glimmer of hope in that.

“I want to remember everything.” Sam’s eyes opened and their gazes locked.

“I cannot even if I wanted to.”

Sam’s eyebrows lowered, one corner of his mouth twitched. “Why not?”

“The collar binds my powers, but even then I do not know if I can break the block.” He kept his voice calm despite his insides trembled with want and a slight fear of not being able to give Sam what he wanted.

“That collar is the only thing keeping you here. How about another way. When you kissed me I had these, um, flashes.”

Warm desire rushed through Gadreel as he thought about that kiss. The feel of Sam’s body against his, the taste of him, the sounds he made. His dick began to swell again, aching for release.

Sam reached out and gently touched Gadreel’s cheek. The slightest touch by the back of his fingers had his lips parting in a silent gasp. This was no dream. No make believe world in Sam’s mind. This was flesh to flesh and it was better than Gadreel ever thought it could be. 

“We could try.” Please, kiss me. Please touch me more.

“Yeah, I think we should.” Sam’s teeth gnawed on his bottom lip, his gaze lowering to Gadreel’s lips. Slowly Sam closed the distance. Gadreel’s chest burned and he realized he’d been holding his breath.

The moment Sam’s mouth touched his, air rushed from his lungs, his heart pumping faster, blood rushing through his heating body. Gadreel’s hands found their way to Sam’s face, fingers threading through silky locks. The kiss deepened, stopping all logical thought and sending his senses soaring.

Something shattered, like glass breaking, and the flashes began. Sam’s shy smile when Gadreel met him in a park. Lying in the same park, staring up at the stars as they talked all night. Their first kiss. Their first make out session, interrupted by Dean and some hunt that he wanted to investigate. The first time they made love, which happened to be on the hood of the Impala in the bunker’s garage. The first time Sam told him that he loved him. That occurred when Gadreel was patching Sam up after a particularly nasty witch tried to kill all three of them.

Sam groaned as their bodies pressed together. Chest to chest. Groin to Groin.

The images quickly shifted to reality. Those less happy. Gadreel using Sam’s body to commit murder. The meetings with Metatron. The deception with Dean. The many times Gadreel had to heal Sam’s body. Saving Castiel. Blood. Lies. Hurt. Grief.

Sam tried to pull away, but Gadreel clung to him like a lifeline. He wasn’t ready to let go. To let the harshness of reality to take full grip. He whimpered, their kiss deepening, his fingers clinging. 

Forgiveness.

Yes, that’s what he longed for. Just as much as he wanted Sam’s affection. Maybe more.

He’d made so many mistakes. But hadn’t Sam? Hadn’t Castiel? They all made mistakes. Why was he the only one not forgiven.

“Please,” Gadreel begged as he pulled slightly away, his lips still touching Sam’s. 

Sam’s chest heaved, his body trembled, and Gadreel noticed the tears trickling down Sam’s cheek. Putting more distance between them, he gently wiped them away. His heart broke with each swipe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still inspired to finish this fic, but my career (the other one besides writing) has really revved up & put me severely limited on actual writing time ... but it will be finished, just slower than I thought. Thanks for hanging in.  
> All errors are of my my own making.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how many chapters this will end up, but I know how it's going to end. This is an off the wall pairing, but let's see if I can make it work. Kudos & comments are always welcomed and is encouraging to me. :) Any typos/grammar errors are my own.


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